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Review: Halloween 2 {H2} (2009)

      If you're a fan of Rob Zombie's other films *House of 1,000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects, and Halloween*, I honestly can't see any reason why you wouldn't like this movie as well.

      I thought it was very original and different from all the other Halloween movies. It gave the series a completely different look and hopefully the studio allows Michael to finally be dead. I like how zombie took in the efforts to include ties with the fourth film and the 2nd of the original series. This is one of the most craziest horror films I’ve ever seen in a long time.

      The opening scene, which presents all of the original Halloween 2 as an ingenious nightmare, is haunting. I loved the old Halloween decorations in the hospital and Michael stalking through its gray halls set to The Moody Blues Nights in White Satin. Brilliant.

      A year after the HALLOWEEN massacre, Laurie Strode lives with Lee and Annie Brackett and is an absolute mess, does drugs, and slowly descending into madness. Dr. Loomis has written a new book and becomes more of a spoiled celebrity. Michael is still alive and sees images of his beautiful mother as a ghost, and the younger version of himself. Deborah tells Michael that he needs to kill Laurie so they will become a family again. When Laurie finds out the truth about who she really is, she doesn't care about anything anymore, so she heads off to the Phantom Jam. After partying with Harley and Mya, Michael comes after Laurie once again to have the ultimate family reunion, because family is forever. I honestly think this is one of the best HALLOWEEN films yet!

      Michael himself is also spooky again. He actually yells when he kills people, and this breaking of tradition of presenting him as a mute/silent monster has quite a dramatic effect. If you look closely, you can see a long, straggly beard sticking out from under his haggard mask. Very cool.

      Another thing this film deserves kudos for is that it is the FIRST Halloween movie that actually looks like it was filmed in the Midwest during fall. This fact alone GREATLY adds to the mood and ambiance of the film. The scenes of Myers hiking miles across the Midwest plains to commit murder in the tiny hamlet of Haddonfield are very creepy. They reek of awesome.

      If you love the HALLOWEEN series, and Rob Zombie's directing style, I highly recommend HALLOWEEN 2.

      I’ll give this one 3.5 out of 5 stars.





Review: Saturday the 14th (1981)


Yes it is a real movie.


A family inherits a creepy old house in which there exists an ancient evil book. When son Billy opens the dusty tome, he unwittingly frees the nasty creatures imprisoned within its pages. Then they "terrorize" the family.


The good news is that Kari Michaelson is very HOT, particularly in her bath scene, which proves to be the highlight of the film, not only because it gives viewers the opportunity to have a glance at her, but also because it actually displays some level of invention (I'm convinced that it must have been the influence for a very similar scene in A Nightmare On Elm Street).

I probably wouldn't have noticed if the scene didn't keep going and going, with plenty of close-ups on Kari Michaelson removing each piece of clothing slowly, and then continuously getting interrupted by phone calls and the like.  Granted, there was a shark-fin-headed gill monster lurking in the water of the tub, which was supposed to be suspenseful, but was really more of an irritation that kept the camera off Michaelson here and there during her strip tease.  I don't mind the disrobing scene in the least, it's just sort of weirdly placed in what I assumed was a kid's flick.   Also, is it weird that I freeze-framed the screen to see the breast covering bubble bikini that Michaelson was wearing to keep the movie clean?

The special effects are extremely amateurish, but are pretty good for a movie made on a low budget in 1981.

Everything else about the film is bad: the script is utter garbage; the comedy is very hit and miss, with the emphasis on miss; the acting is dreadful.
This film must've been the Scary Movie (2000) of it's day. It has hardly ever been heard of by anyone.

The acting is atrocious, disgusting and every other discouraging word I can say, and the comic-timing is off, off, off! If these two factors had been at least a little bit better, than this probably could have been a nice, worthwhile comedy.

The last 10 minutes is nothing but one WTF after another.

I realize that I can never have those seventy-five minutes of my life back, but you can not even begin to realize the sheer agony that I endured while watching it.

I hear that a sequel was made several years later. I definitely will be reviewing that one as well as soon as I find it.

I'll give this one 2.5 out of 5 stars.

I'll give her 4.5 out of 5 stars.