Review: Saturday the 14th (1981)

Yes it is a real movie.

A family inherits a creepy old house in which there exists an ancient evil book. When son Billy opens the dusty tome, he unwittingly frees the nasty creatures imprisoned within its pages. Then they "terrorize" the family.

The good news is that Kari Michaelson is very HOT, particularly in her bath scene, which proves to be the highlight of the film, not only because it gives viewers the opportunity to have a glance at her, but also because it actually displays some level of invention (I'm convinced that it must have been the influence for a very similar scene in A Nightmare On Elm Street).

I probably wouldn't have noticed if the scene didn't keep going and going, with plenty of close-ups on Kari Michaelson removing each piece of clothing slowly, and then continuously getting interrupted by phone calls and the like.  Granted, there was a shark-fin-headed gill monster lurking in the water of the tub, which was supposed to be suspenseful, but was really more of an irritation that kept the camera off Michaelson here and there during her strip tease.  I don't mind the disrobing scene in the least, it's just sort of weirdly placed in what I assumed was a kid's flick.   Also, is it weird that I freeze-framed the screen to see the breast covering bubble bikini that Michaelson was wearing to keep the movie clean?


The special effects are extremely amateurish, but are pretty good for a movie made on a low budget in 1981.

Everything else about the film is bad: the script is utter garbage; the comedy is very hit and miss, with the emphasis on miss; the acting is dreadful.
This film must've been the Scary Movie (2000) of it's day. It has hardly ever been heard of by anyone.

The acting is atrocious, disgusting and every other discouraging word I can say, and the comic-timing is off, off, off! If these two factors had been at least a little bit better, than this probably could have been a nice, worthwhile comedy.

The last 10 minutes is nothing but one WTF after another.

I realize that I can never have those seventy-five minutes of my life back, but you can not even begin to realize the sheer agony that I endured while watching it.

I hear that a sequel was made several years later. I definitely will be reviewing that one as well as soon as I find it.

I'll give this one 2.5 out of 5 stars.

I'll give her 4.5 out of 5 stars.